Life is funny
I was almost right that i should take the gay way, because i was loving V. so much and i couldn’t take another way.
So i told V. that i was loving him. I sent a sms to him on the last thursday and got no reply.
On the friday, when i signed on the msn, he was online and i talked to him.
We talked a bit, but he haven’t said anything about my sms, so i asked him if he got it. He said yes and then i apologized for sending it, hoping to hear (or read :) ) that he felt the same for me.
But he just told me to relax, because he will continue to be my friend.
So, he is straight or he doesn’t want anything with me…
At first, i wanted to cry a lot. I really love him. And i don’t believe that a boy that loves Madonna and dances Britney Spears can be straight. Also, i really believed that he liked me.
But after some time, i started to think. Loving V. was my only reason to be gay. My fear was to lose him if i went straight, but if i can’t have him….
I confess that if he wants something with me, i’ll surely enjoy it. I still love him, after all.
If not, i’ll wait some time to
get into the college and hope to met a girl that i can love. I won’t deny that i still can’t imagine myself eating pussy, but maybe that can change.
And i won’t deny that i still want to fuck with some boys - and maybe i will do it soon, but i don’t want anything serious. I’ll do one or two boys, just for fun, and then it’s over.
